Saturday, June 4


So I haven't written in weeks and I feel like this post should be filled with inspirational words and advice.  But the real fact of the matter is that inspiration hasn't been around a lot lately.  Summer is almost here and I'm getting restless being stuck in a class room everyday.  But yesterday I was driving down the street when I was supposed to be in fourth period and I realized something.  Something I've always known but just saw yesterday.  But it's going to take some explaining.  I learned almost about a year ago about signs.  How sometimes signs are obvious like STOP, YEILD, and SCHOOL ZONE.  But some are quieter like an answered prayer.  We just have to make sure we open our eyes and don't ignore them like I ignore the speed limit signs. :)
Before me and the Ex broke up I had prayed to God for an answer, a sign, a meteor shower, something that could tell me what to do, which road to take.  The road with the Ex by my side or the one where I walk away with God by my side, getting stronger with everyday and learning about myself and the world around me.  Take a guess which road I ended up walking.  Before I was on the first road, happy with where I was.  But I have found that God usually doesn't give you a sign until you ask for it.  He waits for the realization to set in, for you to stop walking down the road you are on and turn around and think, "Wait, Where's God?"  Only then does he step in and give you a sign.  But you have to want it.  Anyway my sign was a broken heart over a cold burrito.  I don't think it could have been anymore clearer.  Looking back now though, I had to ask God for help before he showed me what he wanted of me.  He even knew I wasn't strong enough to do it myself, and intervened.  That was just the first sign.
  Yesterday as I saw the Ex for the third time in one hour I began to realize something.  Maybe ya'll will say its just me over thinking things as usual.  But I like to think it was God's sign.  Him showing me how strong I have become.  How I don't cry anymore when I see that old red truck drive past, how my heart stays in my chest and doesn't jump to my throat when I see him.  It was like God giving me a report card saying "Look at how much you've improved."  And it made me proud of myself.
So my advice would be this; First: God wont help you until you realize the problem and turn to him and say "I need help."  We are too prideful and forget that we can't do anything worth doing unless we have God on our sides, unless we come to him with our choices before we decide and ask him to show us which one he wants for us.  We have to loose our pride and ask for help.   Second: Slow down.  and not just because the speed limit sign say so.  Because you might miss the other signs that aren't as obvious. Look for God in what you do, ask for help, and watch for signs :)
l♥ve, Syd :)