Monday, December 13

I survived :)

So I'm sitting here writing this killer poetry analysis for my AP english class, and I said to my mom,
"This paper is going to kill me."  And in my mother's true fashion she replied with; "oh don't be so dramatic, nothing will kill you."  I flashbacked to a time about six months ago, you all probably know what it was, but that day I truly did think I wouldn't survive.  Jessica told me that each day it would get just a little bit easier and easier to get out of bed a face the day.  And every day I would think about him less and less.  And one day I would find myself smiling for no reason.  I laughed at her and shook my head, "this pain isn't going to go away, its just going to kill me."  (As I'm writing this Sara Evan's song A Little Bit Stronger came on the radio. :)  it was my theme song for a while)
I began to think about the really horrible stuff we go through.  How sometimes we come across things  that we think might actually kill us, or that will scar us for the rest of our lives.  And for some people it actually can.  I know someone who holds a grudge against another person and this woman lets that grudge rule her life.  It has changed the way she lives her life, and the friends she has.  I hope you wont be like her, I hope you are strong.  I could hold a grudge against the boy who did this to me, I could go egg his car or toliet paper his house.  But instead I try to forget about him, and I try to be a little stronger.  I know its a real cliche, but what wont kill you really will make you stronger.  I really do believe that.  There are so many things that we say will kill us.  Something that I really did think would kill me, my broken heart, didn't.  But it has made me such more strong woman.  I think I've accomplished what I wanted.  I picked up the pieces of my broken heart and slowly began to put them back together, it defintly took me a lot of time, tears, and ranting to my friends.  But I did it.  I survived :)  and if I can do it I know you can to :)

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