Sunday, December 11

I just want some self efficacy, and that's what I want to be when I grow u :)

When people ask you what you want to do when you grow up what do you say?  Most people my age already know what they want.  Most people say they want to be a teacher, doctor, psychologists, firefighter....the list goes on and on.  There isn't anything wrong with any of these things.  They all are wonderful professions.  But as you guys have already figured out I've had a hard time figuring out what i wanted to do with my life.  Although I'm pretty sure I'm getting much closer. 
But when people ask me what I want to do I give them more then just a one word profession of an answer.  People usually give me weird looks when I tell them what I want to do with my life.  But here it is...

"When I get older and grow up I want to be an inspiration, even if its only to one person.  I want to inspire people, to help people, and to make an impact, even if it's just the smallest impact, an impact nonetheless.  I want to make people happy, I want to help people to see the beauty around them, the beauty that God has given us.  I want to serve God in everything I do, make him proud of me and please him in every step I take in life.  I want to live a selfless life and live simply with no greed or self centeredness.  I want to be happy with other people's happiness.  I want to have a purpose in my life, and even if my purpose is the smallest purpose and doesn't have an impact that shouts loud but whispers quietly, an impact that only helps one person, it's worth it.  I never want to have someone feel that I don't love them, and strive to love everyone as God would love them."

And while this life goal sounds wonderful, I can't really seem to find a major in any college course catalog that teaches me how to do that.  But really I can do anything and still achieve that.  In my psychology class we learned this term called self-efficacy.  we learned that self efficacy among other things is the knowledge that what you do has an impact on other's life.  Something I strive everyday to do.
See when I was born i had a heart condition.  There was only a thirty percent chance that I would get out surgery as a newborn baby alive.  And here I sit today, perfectly healthy and happy.  But that has given me such a drive to find purpose.  I know there has to be some reason that God put me on this earth and saved me from death.  God put me here and saved me for a reason.  And to not spend my life searching for that purpose and living up to it, would be me not being thankful for my life, which I am.

So because I love purpose so's the purpose for this,  go find it.  your purpose.  And maybe you don't have it figured out yet.  So what?  Go find your purpose for the day.  Find the one thing that you can do to make your day sucessful, pleasing to God, and helpful for others.  Even if it is just lending someone a pen in class, giving them your last stick of gum, or buying them a cup of coffee, your showing them love and care.  and just one person's loving act can go one to change the world. 

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